A Few More Of Wally's Greatest HIts

It has taken me some time to cope with the potentially horrendous outcome that this story could have lead to, so I have not written it down. But now that some time has passed, I can post it without almost crying. So I will document yet another thing for Wally to read when he is one day dealing with his own crazy five year old boy or girl.

I was folding laundry in the family room. I could hear Wally and Will playing up in Wally's room. All seemed right with the world. My doorbell rang. I answered. There is man with a startled look on his face and his car stopped in the middle of the road standing there. He hands me a book. I recognize the book as one of Wally's. He says," Your kids are on the roof."

Long story short. Me, heart-attack. Shut door, and run upstairs. By this time Wally, off roof. Will, not hanging out window. Man, standing on my front lawn looking up at me like I should be in jail. Me, saying thanks, I will take care of it. Me bawling my head off, asking Wally if he is crazy, calling Del hysterical, calling mom feeling like a failure. Del, using ladder to collect items thrown out onto roof by boys. Me debating packing a bag for the twenty to life I will surly be looking at for child neglect, and or, negligent homicide. Now, breathing sigh of relief I have not seen or heard from startled man with book again. One DCFS visit, enough for one year.

Nothing life threatening in the next story, and in some parts of Appalachia, probably even considered the norm.

I was putting Wally in the tub. His favorite. He was very excited and had stripped completely naked. He loves to play with plastic whales and sharks in there. While my parents were here they bought him a new killer whale. He couldn't find it and asked me if I had seen it. (Keeping track of my children's favorite toys could be a hired out full time job at our house.) I told him no, go down stairs and check around. I filled the tub, got Will undressed and towels laid out. (Okay, I kind of forgot he was looking for the whale.)

He came back up to the bathroom, and said, " Mom, I looked all over for it. I looked down in the basement, in the toy drawer, outside...."

I said, "Did you say outside?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, " You are totally naked! You can't go outside naked! I'm sure the neighbors saw you."

He said, "Yeah, but I was just by the garage.

Again, DCFS anyone?