Dude, Sounds Like A Lady

All of you wives out there can no doubt relate to the little experience I am about to share.
It all begins with the need to get something taken care of ASAP, and your name not being on some financial account or another, and ends with you impersonating your husband, and getting called out on it. Just every day stuff right?

The other day I was trying to gather some financial information on an account that Del has through a previous employer. I did not want to call and bug Del at work again to make the phone call to figure this all out, because I had already pestered him enough that day about another account, and he made it pretty clear he did not have the time. So I thought, I'll just do what any honest and compassionate wife trying to save her darling some time would do... call and pretend to be him.

So that is what I did. I was put on hold several times and asked all the security questions about three times. All of the answers were quick to come because, well, I know the answers. All the while my kids are screaming in the background yelling, "Mom, MOM!!!" And I am shushing and shooing.

Finally, a very uncomfortable sounding man comes back on the line and says," Sir, I have to say that you have an exceptionally female sounding voice, and I am not comfortable giving you this information."

I am mouthing "NO WAY!!!" to the ceiling and laughing silently. I am a terrible lier. Especially when it comes to being outright asked. And I was tempted to just blurt out "Okay, okay! This is his wife! And I am not up to any sleazy shenanigans! I am just trying to take something off his plate!"

But no. My pride got the best of me, so I put on my most manly sounding defensive voice and said, "Well, what do you want me to do? This is my voice."

The guy was yet again, not fooled, and told me that I needed to send a letter now, because he was flagging the account with an attempted hacking thingy, and they needed to compare my signature. Oh wow, have I made a mess. Now poor Del not only has to spend the time doing all of that, but his account is flagged with  "Either crazy ex-wife is snooping, or this guy has a seriously unfortunate feminine voice."

I called Del and fessed up and he laughed, and laughed, and later he laughed again.

Then we decided that when he sends in the letter clearing his name, (or mine.) he needs to dot the "i" with a heart.

XOXO